I Regret to Inform You That a 19-Year-Old DOGE Stooge Named ‘Big Balls’ Is Now Advising the State Department

Few developments better typify the unique insanity of the current political moment than the ascent of “Big Balls,” a 19-year-old software engineer who briefly worked at Elon Musk’s brain startup Neuralink, got recruited to the billionaire’s government-deconstructionist effort DOGE and, now, in a twist so ridiculous it seems like it was stolen straight out of South Park, has apparently been hired as a “senior advisor” to the U.S. State Department.
In reality, “Big Balls” is Edward Coristine, a high-achieving tech wunderkind, and the large-testicle-alluding-honorific is merely his online username. The Washington Post reports that Coristine, who is also a staffer at DOGE, was recently assigned to the State Department’s Bureau of Diplomatic Technology. It’s unclear what Coristine, who only recently graduated from high school, will be doing at America’s diplomatic hub, but it understandably seems to have rattled senior officials at the agency. The Post notes that, for some reason, a government directory also lists Coristine as working for USAID—the international aid agency that Musk has all but shut down in the span of a week.
Wired initially reported that Coristine had previously worked for Path Network, a cybersecurity firm that was known to hire reformed cybercriminals. Bloomberg subsequently reported that Coristine was actually fired from that firm after he leaked “internal information to the [company’s] competitors.” “I can confirm that Edward Coristine’s brief contract was terminated after the conclusion of an internal investigation into the leaking of proprietary company information that coincided with his tenure,” a Path Network spokesperson told the outlet last week. Coristine, meanwhile, has said that he did “nothing contractually wrong” while at the company.
Subsequently, cybersecurity blogger Brian Krebs made the claim that Coristine was also formerly a member of The Com, a loose online affiliation of Telegram and Discord users who have frequently been known to engage in a wide variety of criminal activity. Krebs doesn’t claim that Coristine was involved in any criminal activity, merely that he was a member of the group.
Now, for whatever reason Balls/Coristine has been given a horrifying amount of access to the data and internal systems of the federal government. In addition to Coristine, another DOGE member—23-year-old former SpaceX intern Luke Farritor—has also reportedly been given some position at the State Department. Like Coristine, he is also listed as working for the Bureau of Diplomatic Technology. Gizmodo reached out to the State Department for more information on what Big Balls and Farritor are doing for the government and will update this story if it responds.
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It makes perfect sense that the guy who leaked his company’s information in the past is now advising the State Department. Advising is a strong word, isn’t it? Once again I have to ask, if this is a government department, why didn’t Musk have to go through a confirmation hearing?
While I don’t neces…
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The richest man on the planet attacks the poorest
by Bill Press OK, let’s begin by stipulating what everybody agrees with: There’s a lot of wasteful spending in government, a lot of overlap, and too many programs that no longer serve any purpose kept needlessly alive. Pledging to “cut the fat” out of government spending is a good idea for any administration, and some have actually done so.
But that in no way justifies Elon Musk’s shutting down the United States Agency for International Development — which President Trump said has his “100 percent support.” It’s one of the most short-sighted, most dangerous and most stupid decisions made by any modern president — and one Donald Trump will soon regret, especially as Russia and China step in with their own humanitarian programs.
USAID was created by President John F. Kennedy in 1961, in the middle of the Cold War, to provide a humane presence, not a military presence, for the United States throughout the world. Since then, under both Republican and Democratic presidents, it has saved millions of lives, providing food, health care, housing and security for the poorest people in the poorest countries on the planet.
Among other successes, USAID is credited with preventing a 2014 Ebola outbreak in Guinea. The President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, George W. Bush’s anti-HIV/AIDS program administered largely through USAID, is hailed for saving 26 million lives so far. Until last weekend, USAID was battling a new malaria outbreak in Uganda.
Remarkably, USAID provided that “smiling face” for America around the world, made so many friends for America, and saved so many lives at a cost of roughly $40 billion a year, less than 1 percent of the federal budget. We taxpayers got more bang for our buck from USAID than any other government program. But now, suddenly, all of that good work and good will are gone.
Who did Donald Trump talk to before authorizing the dismantling of USAID? Not to his wife. In 2018, on her first solo international trip, then-first lady Melania Trump traveled to Africa to highlight what she deemed “successful” USAID projects. “We care, and we want to show the world that we care, and I’ve partnered and am working with USAID,” she told ABC News. “When people have opportunities and societies are freer and more educated, we are stronger as the United States.”
He obviously didn’t talk to his daughter, either. In 2018, Ivanka Trump embarked on her own mission to Africa, where she met with women cocoa farmers who had just received a $2 million grant from USAID. One year later, then-President Trump launched a new $50 million “Women’s Global Development and Prosperity,” aimed at empowering women in the developing world — a project led by his daughter and senior advisor Ivanka. “There’s a reason today, the president signed WGDP as a national security presidential memorandum,” she told reporters, “It is in our domestic security interests to empower women.”
Trump didn’t talk to former Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), and other hawkish Republican senators who have been strong supporters of USAID and, as one agency official told Politico’s Jonathan Martin, consistently asked them: “Why aren’t you doing more? More, more, more, more.”
And, clearly, Trump didn’t talk to his new secretary of State. For more than a decade as senator, Marco Rubio was one of the chief advocates for foreign aid in general, and USAID in particular. “We don’t have to give foreign aid,” he said in February 2013. “We do so because it furthers our national interest. That’s why we give foreign aid.”
In targeting USAID, Trump talked only to his new best friend, the un-elected Government-Cut Czar Elon Musk, who called USAID a “criminal organization” and bragged about feeding it into the “wood chipper.” How ironic that Trump would take such advice from a man who himself profits from federal government hand-outs.
According to USASpending.gov, SpaceX and its subsidiary Starlink, companies that Musk owns, have received a total of $3.3 billion in federal grants in just the past 12 months. Tesla has received $41.9 million in federal contracts since 2008. Both of Musk’s companies were hatched with federal grants.
Of course, there are lots of places to look for wasteful government spending. Why not start with the Pentagon? Or congressional junkets? Or the $13 million price tag for holding a prisoner at Guantanamo Bay? Instead, Musk and Trump decided to start out with one of the smallest government agencies, which does the most good around the world for the least amount of money. But that’s what bullies do.
BillPress is host of “The Bill Press Pod.” He is the author of “From the Left: A Life in the Crossfire.” Follow him on BlueSky @BillPress.bsky.social
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Not every place can have the outlook of Mississippi, but the GOP is working hard to change that.
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Will this lower the price of eggs? You know, since I was told that was a very important issue during the election.
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Betcha Russia and China already have hotties working these guys.
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It’s weird that so many Americans have no idea how their government works and believe that agencies spend money without oversight to begin with.
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when Idiocracy joins with Kleptocracy
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Here’s what happens to things that Musk touches. Expect the same for the contents of the Treasury and your future Social Security and Medicare: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6LMYqXwK7w
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FAA orders SpaceX to investigate Starship explosion
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Someone tell Big Balls that a swollen scrote could be an infection or a tumor.
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I hope the stress gets to him.
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The MAGA nuts think what Musk is doing is about accountability and transparency, that’s how stupid they are.