Attraction; Are you programmed to limit your choices based on face stereotypes?
Parents, peers and school societies program people to only date people (breeding) who are genetically formed with the same facial symmetry and body structure. This creates objectified relationships, based on looks and not depth, which usually end in cheating, "who-used-who" accusations, viscous divorce lawsuits, etc.. (ie: When actors marry each other) the point is: "go outside your comfort area and avoid being driven into a bubble. Don't pick people that look like who "you think you are supposed to be seen with". What "you think" could be more social programming than actual desire. 90% of online dating is based on things you are not even conscious of and things you would find hard to believe about yourself until you see facts like THIS (about your face) and THIS (about the rest of you.).
For most, one of the very heart-breaking aspects of online dating is that most of the people you want to date won't even write you back because they looked at your picture and deleted you without even reading your profile. This is called "Eugenics": the programming of people to only want to be with those that look like they are in the same social class or social group. This is why many yuppie couples look like brother and sister or have almost the same kinds of features: Small equilateral facial positioning, straight nose, sharp aqilinear eyes, etc.. You recently read the controversy about Big Brother TV host Julie Chen having her eyes surgically modified in order to look "more yuppie" and less asian for "social acceptability".
Dating sites promote themselves using photos of stereotype-looking symmetrically faced people. Many popular actors are not very good at acting but they have hyper-symmetrical faces that people can't stop looking at, so they get lots of work. Don't buy in to the programming, read the profile before you look at the pictures, if you can possibly bring yourself to do so.
Sunny writes: "Internet dating puts the pictures up at the top so you just click through like shopping at the store. It dehumanizes people and sets up a "hook-up" decision-making process. Turn off images in your browser and just read the profiles if you are not just looking for sex."
Pam says: "Any woman who is not a teenager who has her breasts or cleavage showing in her profile picture is selling it and knows exactly what she is doing and should expect exactly what she gets online."
Robert says: " If there are no full-length shots in the profile and the profile says "curvy" or "average", you know what you know. Don't be surprised".
Amberson- " No man ever reads a profile. No online woman who asks a man trick questions to see if he read the profile is going to get anything but pushback. men are visual and online they just want to know if the other person is even going to respond, since most men never get any response from most women they pick online (because they only pick the cute ones). So don't give a man grief because he couldn't overcome 10 million years of genetic programming just for you. Men look at pictures and just pick the cute ones, women then look at those pictures and only pick the ones that look like models.. so the odds are against the guys... help them out by throwing them a bone once in awhile."
Parents, peers and school societies program people to only date people (breeding) who are genetically formed with the same facial symmetry and body structure. This creates objectified relationships, based on looks and not depth, which usually end in cheating, "who-used-who" accusations, viscous divorce lawsuits, etc.. (ie: When actors marry each other) the point is: "go outside your comfort area and avoid being driven into a bubble. Don't pick people that look like who "you think you are supposed to be seen with". What "you think" could be more social programming than actual desire. 90% of online dating is based on things you are not even conscious of and things you would find hard to believe about yourself until you see facts like THIS (about your face) and THIS (about the rest of you.).
For most, one of the very heart-breaking aspects of online dating is that most of the people you want to date won't even write you back because they looked at your picture and deleted you without even reading your profile. This is called "Eugenics": the programming of people to only want to be with those that look like they are in the same social class or social group. This is why many yuppie couples look like brother and sister or have almost the same kinds of features: Small equilateral facial positioning, straight nose, sharp aqilinear eyes, etc.. You recently read the controversy about Big Brother TV host Julie Chen having her eyes surgically modified in order to look "more yuppie" and less asian for "social acceptability".
Dating sites promote themselves using photos of stereotype-looking symmetrically faced people. Many popular actors are not very good at acting but they have hyper-symmetrical faces that people can't stop looking at, so they get lots of work. Don't buy in to the programming, read the profile before you look at the pictures, if you can possibly bring yourself to do so.
Sunny writes: "Internet dating puts the pictures up at the top so you just click through like shopping at the store. It dehumanizes people and sets up a "hook-up" decision-making process. Turn off images in your browser and just read the profiles if you are not just looking for sex."
Pam says: "Any woman who is not a teenager who has her breasts or cleavage showing in her profile picture is selling it and knows exactly what she is doing and should expect exactly what she gets online."
Robert says: " If there are no full-length shots in the profile and the profile says "curvy" or "average", you know what you know. Don't be surprised".
Amberson- " No man ever reads a profile. No online woman who asks a man trick questions to see if he read the profile is going to get anything but pushback. men are visual and online they just want to know if the other person is even going to respond, since most men never get any response from most women they pick online (because they only pick the cute ones). So don't give a man grief because he couldn't overcome 10 million years of genetic programming just for you. Men look at pictures and just pick the cute ones, women then look at those pictures and only pick the ones that look like models.. so the odds are against the guys... help them out by throwing them a bone once in awhile."
Rasina- "Here is a flyer that we keep seeing around the campus:
"Do you notice anything about the pictures? They are all the exact same facial structures. You may be a tool of the media. If you are “attractive” you often go for people (without looking for depth) who always use you and dump you as they search for other attraction (called "dating Strange") without depth. Science says that women with “model attractive” aquiline facial features will usually fail in love unless they pick the least “model attractive” man with non-aquiline facial features that they can find because two model attractive people generally do not develop the depth or intent beyond appearance and only see the lack of the depth after the superficial comfort has worn off. Do you think the pictures above are all: A.) Hotties and Hunks OR, B.) Bimbo's and Dicks. "
Robert- "I saw this TV series, you MUST see it if you are out there dating:
Discovery Channel’s Science of Sex Appeal- Cliff Notes:
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/science-of-sex-appeal/
Here are the results of the scientific studies conducted by Discovery Channel:
The bottom line, based on over one hundred years of research by thousands of different entities: “What people think they want is wrong if they are looking for anything more than just sex” Your subconscious biological programming will ONLY steer you to “make more humans”, it WILL NOT allow you to pick a relationship partner. It will make you pick someone who is cute and mostly totally wrong for you. This is why 90% of dating experiences never work out and 70% of marriages end in divorce. Online dating causes most of the people that SHOULD be together to not get picked because the main choosing process is picture-based.
* Social, media and genetic programming makes you do things you do not mean to do in the dating process. To be successful in dating you have to actually NOT go with your “intuition” or “first impressions” because science now shows us that it is a TRICK. Science now shows that reacting to pictures only, online, will only get you great sex and NEVER get you a deep or long lasting relationship.
* Love is a chemical addiction stimulated by the release of brain chemicals that distort your perceptions about a certain person.
* You will not pick a person whose eye separation and distance from nose to brow is not the same as yours unless you consciously make yourself only look at the person in profile view. You unconsciously judge attraction based on equilateral positioning of all facial elements and geometric distances between points on the face.
* Women are generally repelled by men’s scent (except when they are within a day or two of ovulation)...
* One research study illustrated that women tend to choose partners based on status or resources as a priority. Groups of women, selected at random, were shown photos of similarly dressed men of relatively equal attractiveness. Following a baseline numerical rating of attractiveness, later groups were shown the same pictures, but with an indication of social and economic status -- five- or six-figure incomes. The attractiveness ratings rose or fell significantly in direct correlation to perceived income level. Men put fins and flames on their cars and wear giant watches in order to create status-attraction to attract women.
* When women are ovulating; their voices change to a higher pitch to attract men, their skin tone changes to attract men, their pelvic muscles tighten to create a shimmer walk, they interpret smells different and they output different kinds of attracting odors.
* The more a man sways his shoulders in a swagger, the more women will be attracted to him. The more a woman sways her hips, the more men will be attracted to her.
* And the science of partner selection continues with human odor as a factor. Couples can discern the special smell of their partner. Every man has a unique smell -- 'eau de man.' Research has demonstrated that odor affects us at a subconscious level. We can't control it. No two people smell the same or have the same ‘HMC’, as it is called. There is an optimum match for HMC.
* Women are generally repelled by men’s scent (except when they are within a day or two of ovulation); but men, when exposed to vaginal secretions, are consistently attracted. In experiments where men inhale imperceptible low doses of artificial copulants, the attractiveness rating of women shown in pictures is higher. Copulants impair men’s ability to discriminate whether a woman is attractive. The scent of copulants prevents them from thinking clearly. (Odor also helps us steer clear of relatives and has performed the evolutionary role of "incest avoidance.")
* With chemistry-inspired flirting, lust, and love all continuously active below our level of consciousness, can we maintain attraction to one partner? Attraction has many stages, beginning with a single biochemical jolt resulting in a change reaction. Anecdotal reports indicate the ‘first kiss’ is highly memorable in the attraction that builds (or fails to build). The abundant testosterone in saliva increases the sex drive.
* Men are genetically programmed at the core of their genes for tens of millions of years to sleep with as many women as possible in order to keep the species going. Just as women are programmed to want a baby like crazy as soon as they turn 18. A good college education or strict parents are not going to change this. Recent science has found a shot that can cause monogamy in men and a shot that can cause baby anxiety reduction in women.
* Even more sex appeal chemistry influences occur through the dopamine triggered in our brains. Dopamine is the brain’s pleasure chemical that produces a high that can be addictive, energy producing, and exhilarating. Biochemistry shows the link between dopamine and testosterone with exhilaration and lust. But dopamine is not uniquely linked to sex appeal. The thrill of sports, bungee jumping for instance, can produce a dopamine rush. What about love?
* Many of our unconscious preferences and behaviors are conditioned by our chemistry. Studies report that women find slightly feminized pictures of the same man more attractive when they are not ovulating. Married women are biologically driven to promiscuous behavior as reported by an experiment based on digital movies of the female participants dancing during a "girls’ night out." The women with long term partners and on their fertility cycles were the most provocative. This was concluded from movement and appearance analyzed through pixels and an estimated percentage of skin showing. These committed women sent out more sexual signals than the available ones. In contrast, other research pinpoints the role of the chemical oxytocin in monogamy for women.
* Many of our unconscious preferences and behaviors are conditioned by our chemistry. Studies report that women find slightly feminized pictures of the same man more attractive when they are not ovulating. Married women are biologically driven to promiscuous behavior as reported by an experiment based on digital movies of the female participants dancing during a "girls’ night out." The women with long term partners and on their fertility cycles were the most provocative. This was concluded from movement and appearance analyzed through pixels and an estimated percentage of skin showing. These committed women sent out more sexual signals than the available ones. In contrast, other research pinpoints the role of the chemical oxytocin in monogamy for women.
* The science on sexual attraction claims that evolution prepares us to stay together just long enough to raise children. One study across 58 societies demonstrated a dual reproductive system going from pair bonding to straying at about the four-year mark in a relationship. The study conclusion: we are fundamentally built to stray. Does this mean that our exhilarating experience of early love is destined to be undermined by our inherent biology? Will we always fail at long-term love?
* Men put flame decals, fins, large spoilers, giant speakers, and raised tires on their cars to draw the attention of women in order to seek to demonstrate that they have a higher ability to acquire goods and survive in the urban jungle.
* Science claims that the chemistry of passion, lust, and love bind us together for a limited period of time. Haven't most of us figured that out at a personal level? My observation is we already know we need to build for the future before the reality storm hits. Yet many of us neglect our marriages and relationships anyway. Over focus on careers or children, and overindulging in our selfish habits through individual use of time frequently lead to rampant neglect of our partners. Science help us? Dr. Karl Letus says: "Love is like Santa Clause and Fairies. You want to believe in them but they don't actually exist. What is worse is that love is an actual sickness. Santa Clause and the Fairies can be dismissed as mere whimsy but love is a medical addiction to chemicals in the brain and also a psychological addiction to being controlled and to out-sourcing personal security services. Chocolate is used to encourage love because it caused lubrication of the neuron thought process in your head. Expensive gifts are sought by women, from men, in order to validate the intent and ability of the man to provide ongoing financial and physical security services. So, by now, some of you are reading this and having an anger reaction and thinking.. "oh you are spoiling it, I still believe, I still believe.." just about the same reaction you get when you tell a smoker or an alcholic that they are addicted and destroying themselves. " This is the harshest view of Love. It is just one scientist's opinion.
* It takes just three minutes to fall in love, scientists revealed today. What the heart wants, it can establish fairly quickly, according to American psychologists who studied the behavior of 10,500 newly-introduced couples. “Some people say they’re looking for one kind of person, then choose another. Others say they don’t even know what they’re looking for,” said Robert Urban of the University of Pennsylvania. “But our data suggest that, however it happens, people know it quickly when they see it.” He claimed would-be lovers generally understand their own worth on the dating market, and so are able to judge potential compatibility within moments of meeting. Psychologists analyzed the interactions between speed-dating participants, where men and women are given just three minutes to assess each other before moving on to the next person. At the end of a session each individual indicates which of the 25 or so people he or she met they would like to see again. “Although they had three minutes, most participants made their decision based on the information that they probably got in the first three seconds,” Urban said. “Somewhat surprisingly, factors that you might think would be really important to people, like religion, education and income, played very little role in their choices.” Psychologists have often likened relationships to transactions whereby people select mates based on the qualities their other half has to offer, such as power and money.
Here are the results of the scientific studies conducted by Discovery Channel:
The bottom line, based on over one hundred years of research by thousands of different entities: “What people think they want is wrong if they are looking for anything more than just sex” Your subconscious biological programming will ONLY steer you to “make more humans”, it WILL NOT allow you to pick a relationship partner. It will make you pick someone who is cute and mostly totally wrong for you. This is why 90% of dating experiences never work out and 70% of marriages end in divorce. Online dating causes most of the people that SHOULD be together to not get picked because the main choosing process is picture-based.
* Social, media and genetic programming makes you do things you do not mean to do in the dating process. To be successful in dating you have to actually NOT go with your “intuition” or “first impressions” because science now shows us that it is a TRICK. Science now shows that reacting to pictures only, online, will only get you great sex and NEVER get you a deep or long lasting relationship.
* Love is a chemical addiction stimulated by the release of brain chemicals that distort your perceptions about a certain person.
* You will not pick a person whose eye separation and distance from nose to brow is not the same as yours unless you consciously make yourself only look at the person in profile view. You unconsciously judge attraction based on equilateral positioning of all facial elements and geometric distances between points on the face.
* Women are generally repelled by men’s scent (except when they are within a day or two of ovulation)...
* One research study illustrated that women tend to choose partners based on status or resources as a priority. Groups of women, selected at random, were shown photos of similarly dressed men of relatively equal attractiveness. Following a baseline numerical rating of attractiveness, later groups were shown the same pictures, but with an indication of social and economic status -- five- or six-figure incomes. The attractiveness ratings rose or fell significantly in direct correlation to perceived income level. Men put fins and flames on their cars and wear giant watches in order to create status-attraction to attract women.
* When women are ovulating; their voices change to a higher pitch to attract men, their skin tone changes to attract men, their pelvic muscles tighten to create a shimmer walk, they interpret smells different and they output different kinds of attracting odors.
* The more a man sways his shoulders in a swagger, the more women will be attracted to him. The more a woman sways her hips, the more men will be attracted to her.
* And the science of partner selection continues with human odor as a factor. Couples can discern the special smell of their partner. Every man has a unique smell -- 'eau de man.' Research has demonstrated that odor affects us at a subconscious level. We can't control it. No two people smell the same or have the same ‘HMC’, as it is called. There is an optimum match for HMC.
* Women are generally repelled by men’s scent (except when they are within a day or two of ovulation); but men, when exposed to vaginal secretions, are consistently attracted. In experiments where men inhale imperceptible low doses of artificial copulants, the attractiveness rating of women shown in pictures is higher. Copulants impair men’s ability to discriminate whether a woman is attractive. The scent of copulants prevents them from thinking clearly. (Odor also helps us steer clear of relatives and has performed the evolutionary role of "incest avoidance.")
* With chemistry-inspired flirting, lust, and love all continuously active below our level of consciousness, can we maintain attraction to one partner? Attraction has many stages, beginning with a single biochemical jolt resulting in a change reaction. Anecdotal reports indicate the ‘first kiss’ is highly memorable in the attraction that builds (or fails to build). The abundant testosterone in saliva increases the sex drive.
* Men are genetically programmed at the core of their genes for tens of millions of years to sleep with as many women as possible in order to keep the species going. Just as women are programmed to want a baby like crazy as soon as they turn 18. A good college education or strict parents are not going to change this. Recent science has found a shot that can cause monogamy in men and a shot that can cause baby anxiety reduction in women.
* Even more sex appeal chemistry influences occur through the dopamine triggered in our brains. Dopamine is the brain’s pleasure chemical that produces a high that can be addictive, energy producing, and exhilarating. Biochemistry shows the link between dopamine and testosterone with exhilaration and lust. But dopamine is not uniquely linked to sex appeal. The thrill of sports, bungee jumping for instance, can produce a dopamine rush. What about love?
* Many of our unconscious preferences and behaviors are conditioned by our chemistry. Studies report that women find slightly feminized pictures of the same man more attractive when they are not ovulating. Married women are biologically driven to promiscuous behavior as reported by an experiment based on digital movies of the female participants dancing during a "girls’ night out." The women with long term partners and on their fertility cycles were the most provocative. This was concluded from movement and appearance analyzed through pixels and an estimated percentage of skin showing. These committed women sent out more sexual signals than the available ones. In contrast, other research pinpoints the role of the chemical oxytocin in monogamy for women.
* Many of our unconscious preferences and behaviors are conditioned by our chemistry. Studies report that women find slightly feminized pictures of the same man more attractive when they are not ovulating. Married women are biologically driven to promiscuous behavior as reported by an experiment based on digital movies of the female participants dancing during a "girls’ night out." The women with long term partners and on their fertility cycles were the most provocative. This was concluded from movement and appearance analyzed through pixels and an estimated percentage of skin showing. These committed women sent out more sexual signals than the available ones. In contrast, other research pinpoints the role of the chemical oxytocin in monogamy for women.
* The science on sexual attraction claims that evolution prepares us to stay together just long enough to raise children. One study across 58 societies demonstrated a dual reproductive system going from pair bonding to straying at about the four-year mark in a relationship. The study conclusion: we are fundamentally built to stray. Does this mean that our exhilarating experience of early love is destined to be undermined by our inherent biology? Will we always fail at long-term love?
* Men put flame decals, fins, large spoilers, giant speakers, and raised tires on their cars to draw the attention of women in order to seek to demonstrate that they have a higher ability to acquire goods and survive in the urban jungle.
* Science claims that the chemistry of passion, lust, and love bind us together for a limited period of time. Haven't most of us figured that out at a personal level? My observation is we already know we need to build for the future before the reality storm hits. Yet many of us neglect our marriages and relationships anyway. Over focus on careers or children, and overindulging in our selfish habits through individual use of time frequently lead to rampant neglect of our partners. Science help us? Dr. Karl Letus says: "Love is like Santa Clause and Fairies. You want to believe in them but they don't actually exist. What is worse is that love is an actual sickness. Santa Clause and the Fairies can be dismissed as mere whimsy but love is a medical addiction to chemicals in the brain and also a psychological addiction to being controlled and to out-sourcing personal security services. Chocolate is used to encourage love because it caused lubrication of the neuron thought process in your head. Expensive gifts are sought by women, from men, in order to validate the intent and ability of the man to provide ongoing financial and physical security services. So, by now, some of you are reading this and having an anger reaction and thinking.. "oh you are spoiling it, I still believe, I still believe.." just about the same reaction you get when you tell a smoker or an alcholic that they are addicted and destroying themselves. " This is the harshest view of Love. It is just one scientist's opinion.
* It takes just three minutes to fall in love, scientists revealed today. What the heart wants, it can establish fairly quickly, according to American psychologists who studied the behavior of 10,500 newly-introduced couples. “Some people say they’re looking for one kind of person, then choose another. Others say they don’t even know what they’re looking for,” said Robert Urban of the University of Pennsylvania. “But our data suggest that, however it happens, people know it quickly when they see it.” He claimed would-be lovers generally understand their own worth on the dating market, and so are able to judge potential compatibility within moments of meeting. Psychologists analyzed the interactions between speed-dating participants, where men and women are given just three minutes to assess each other before moving on to the next person. At the end of a session each individual indicates which of the 25 or so people he or she met they would like to see again. “Although they had three minutes, most participants made their decision based on the information that they probably got in the first three seconds,” Urban said. “Somewhat surprisingly, factors that you might think would be really important to people, like religion, education and income, played very little role in their choices.” Psychologists have often likened relationships to transactions whereby people select mates based on the qualities their other half has to offer, such as power and money.
Kara- " Dating sites only market their sites using the pictures of the 1% of the population that looks like models. Those people only date the other half of the 1% of the population that looks like models. The odds of you getting a date with one of them is about zero. Models generally are superficial and never have lasting relationships because they are generally flighty, thinking only of the moment and burned out on getting passed around by the model-looking people they only date.. bottom line: avoid models and dating sites".
Amy- "Everything you were told about love and passion by the media, novellas and information that is sold in the traditional world has almost nothing to do with how "chemistry" really works. It is all subconscious brain chemistry that you have almost no control over unless you go to the work of making yourself very conscious and aware. If you don't believe, or understand this, then you will, likely end up as a 'Stepford Wife' or 'Investment Banker'"
Lyle- "The single most important thing to realize is that "chemistry" is a series of bio-chemical and audio-visual reactions to the way a person looks and how they remind you of subconscious things in-person. It does not work-over the internet! It does not work over a computer! It does not work over the phone! Chemistry is not a metaphysical thing. You will not be able to decide about a person unless you meet them in person. Much of it has to do with the spacing of the eyes, nose and mouth and the shape of the eyes and nose; unfortunately. The internet is just a place to see that certain people are single. The way that media has programmed you, the type of people the media have told you are attractive and the look and feel of the people you have gathered around you will determine how the 42+ different psycho-visual, olfactory and other sensory reactions determine if you will allow yourself to be attracted to one person over another."
Aubry- "Generally: "Chemistry" has made up your mind about whether or not they want to be with you 15 minutes after you have met them in-person. Generally, men make up their minds more quickly than women because they are sensorial reactive. Decision processing is usually dramatically out-of-sync between genders based on genetic hunter/gatherer evolutionary programming. Both genders need to adjust to find the happy medium. Most internet dates end in the first few emails because of misinterpretation. Many people are typing on their cell phone or iphone or they are at work or they are joking and you can’t see it in email. Do not make prejudgments based on the first few emails, they are often wrong or unfair to the other person. A large number of people follow “the third date” rule. This means that if the two of you have not decided to be intimate by the third date you probably never will. Almost a majority of first meetings are cancelled by one of the two people just prior to meeting because people feel no commitment to a stranger. Do not be surprised if people using the service are not too motivated re: the first meeting as many have been through these out-of-the-blue cancellations already."
Parker- "We live in an age where advertising and media train us to be attracted to certain facial types: sorority girl looks like fraternity guy looks, biker guy looks like biker girl looks, hipster guy looks like hipster girl types. Realize that we are all being forced to be superficial by this. Try to get past this, or you will miss people who are, otherwise, perfect matches. Exchange cell phone numbers for the first meeting. Most people do not look like their pictures and many people never find each other the first time. Use a Google-voice number or get a $27.00 phone from Walgreens if you don’t want to give out your real number. Where to meet is a political consideration. People who have done a few weeks of internet dating know that 99% of the first meetings don’t click and they will never see that person again , so they are hesitant to go too far for a first meeting . Women think men should drive to their location. Men think that they are going to have to pay for everything so the women should come to them. A good fix is to meet half-way."
Sarah- In life you have gathered people that are very similar to you around you in order to create a controlled and comfortable insulation. In online dating you will meet the full breadth of people and they are of every type. Be prepared to broaden your horizons. If you feel the need to tell people that “you need to go slow” (A concept foreign to most men) or “are still hurt from your last relationship”.. you may not be ready to date. Not only are most people on a dating site eager and willing to be in a relationship, but things move much faster online than not online. Don’t hurt yourself, and others, by using a dating site for therapy. People on dating sites go fast, generally."
Anon- "Have you ever noticed that 95% of us seem to be chasing after the same 5%. I call them the "lucky 5%". They have no trouble meeting someone for a romantic relationship. They are blessed with physical beauty or money or status or all three. Relationships come to them rather than the other way around. Looking at things logically, if 95% of us are chasing after the same 5%, each of them has to date 19 of us simultaneously in order to keep all of us happy. And that's not going to happen. How realistic are your expectations? Take a good, long, honest look at yourself. "I've got a great personality and a heart of gold", you say. That's great, except that you live in a world in which people judge you initially by superficial things like the beauty of your face, the slimness of your body, the clothes you wear, the car you drive, and the job you hold. So if people find your exterior to be unattractive, you've got a tough road ahead of you. For example, if you're a 3 on a scale of 10 in terms of initial attractiveness to the opposite sex, don't expect to attract a 9 or 10. If you're a woman, forget about Tom Selleck or a millionaire. If you're a man, forget about meeting a Playboy bunny. Settle for someone nice who finds you attractive. "Does that mean I have to lower my standards?" Sadly the answer is yes. I know it's hard to give up fantasies of Prince Charming or the beauty queen. Just remember that it's even harder to go through life without romantic love. "
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/science-of-sex-appeal/
Read More From Public Postings...
Amy- "Everything you were told about love and passion by the media, novellas and information that is sold in the traditional world has almost nothing to do with how "chemistry" really works. It is all subconscious brain chemistry that you have almost no control over unless you go to the work of making yourself very conscious and aware. If you don't believe, or understand this, then you will, likely end up as a 'Stepford Wife' or 'Investment Banker'"
Lyle- "The single most important thing to realize is that "chemistry" is a series of bio-chemical and audio-visual reactions to the way a person looks and how they remind you of subconscious things in-person. It does not work-over the internet! It does not work over a computer! It does not work over the phone! Chemistry is not a metaphysical thing. You will not be able to decide about a person unless you meet them in person. Much of it has to do with the spacing of the eyes, nose and mouth and the shape of the eyes and nose; unfortunately. The internet is just a place to see that certain people are single. The way that media has programmed you, the type of people the media have told you are attractive and the look and feel of the people you have gathered around you will determine how the 42+ different psycho-visual, olfactory and other sensory reactions determine if you will allow yourself to be attracted to one person over another."
Aubry- "Generally: "Chemistry" has made up your mind about whether or not they want to be with you 15 minutes after you have met them in-person. Generally, men make up their minds more quickly than women because they are sensorial reactive. Decision processing is usually dramatically out-of-sync between genders based on genetic hunter/gatherer evolutionary programming. Both genders need to adjust to find the happy medium. Most internet dates end in the first few emails because of misinterpretation. Many people are typing on their cell phone or iphone or they are at work or they are joking and you can’t see it in email. Do not make prejudgments based on the first few emails, they are often wrong or unfair to the other person. A large number of people follow “the third date” rule. This means that if the two of you have not decided to be intimate by the third date you probably never will. Almost a majority of first meetings are cancelled by one of the two people just prior to meeting because people feel no commitment to a stranger. Do not be surprised if people using the service are not too motivated re: the first meeting as many have been through these out-of-the-blue cancellations already."
Parker- "We live in an age where advertising and media train us to be attracted to certain facial types: sorority girl looks like fraternity guy looks, biker guy looks like biker girl looks, hipster guy looks like hipster girl types. Realize that we are all being forced to be superficial by this. Try to get past this, or you will miss people who are, otherwise, perfect matches. Exchange cell phone numbers for the first meeting. Most people do not look like their pictures and many people never find each other the first time. Use a Google-voice number or get a $27.00 phone from Walgreens if you don’t want to give out your real number. Where to meet is a political consideration. People who have done a few weeks of internet dating know that 99% of the first meetings don’t click and they will never see that person again , so they are hesitant to go too far for a first meeting . Women think men should drive to their location. Men think that they are going to have to pay for everything so the women should come to them. A good fix is to meet half-way."
Sarah- In life you have gathered people that are very similar to you around you in order to create a controlled and comfortable insulation. In online dating you will meet the full breadth of people and they are of every type. Be prepared to broaden your horizons. If you feel the need to tell people that “you need to go slow” (A concept foreign to most men) or “are still hurt from your last relationship”.. you may not be ready to date. Not only are most people on a dating site eager and willing to be in a relationship, but things move much faster online than not online. Don’t hurt yourself, and others, by using a dating site for therapy. People on dating sites go fast, generally."
Anon- "Have you ever noticed that 95% of us seem to be chasing after the same 5%. I call them the "lucky 5%". They have no trouble meeting someone for a romantic relationship. They are blessed with physical beauty or money or status or all three. Relationships come to them rather than the other way around. Looking at things logically, if 95% of us are chasing after the same 5%, each of them has to date 19 of us simultaneously in order to keep all of us happy. And that's not going to happen. How realistic are your expectations? Take a good, long, honest look at yourself. "I've got a great personality and a heart of gold", you say. That's great, except that you live in a world in which people judge you initially by superficial things like the beauty of your face, the slimness of your body, the clothes you wear, the car you drive, and the job you hold. So if people find your exterior to be unattractive, you've got a tough road ahead of you. For example, if you're a 3 on a scale of 10 in terms of initial attractiveness to the opposite sex, don't expect to attract a 9 or 10. If you're a woman, forget about Tom Selleck or a millionaire. If you're a man, forget about meeting a Playboy bunny. Settle for someone nice who finds you attractive. "Does that mean I have to lower my standards?" Sadly the answer is yes. I know it's hard to give up fantasies of Prince Charming or the beauty queen. Just remember that it's even harder to go through life without romantic love. "
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/science-of-sex-appeal/
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